Life's troubles

I had my first, big hospital breakdown last night.  It's just hard for me to understand why God is making all of this pregnancy stuff so hard on us.  It all started with not getting pregnant...then fertility treatments...then a miscarriage...then OHSS that landed me in the hospital for a few days...then other pregnancy issues in the beginning of this pregnancy...and now...this.  I just don't understand.  Sometimes I wonder if this is God's way of telling me I should have never gotten pregnant in the first place...and that hurts.  But I know that is NOT true.  I have always wanted to be a Mom....always.  I played "Mom" of my baby dolls when I was young...never much into barbie dolls, but man oh man did I love my baby dolls.  I just wish God would give us a break.  Give us a break from this hardship, these bills that are flooding in, the stress, the unknown, etc.  It's not easy.  I know the end result will make up for all of these hard times...I just know it.  In a few months I can not wait to hold our sweet babies and smoother them in kisses, cuddles, and let them know that they are safe in Mom and Dad's arms.  Sorry for the downer post...hopefully I will have some positive news to report on soon!